"So, we were all staying over at this human guy's house & he let us do anything we wanted. We burrowed into the walls, ate all the electrical wires. It was like being at a 24/7 rave! Then one day a 'professional organizer' showed up with a camera crew & threw us all out, up until then I was having the time of my life. I'm telling you, the next time you want to party find an animal hoarder."
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
"I hate the History Channel! Their show MONSTERQUEST has been on for three seasons & not once have they had Unicorns on it. That stupid Loch Ness Monster has been on there at least four times! They even gave Big Foot his own spinoff! I recently met with the producer & he seemed really interested in doing a show about us until he found out we couldn't fly. The next time somebody mistakes me for a g.d. Pegasus I'm going to stick this horn where the sun don't shine!"
Monday, July 18, 2011
"Remember the good ole days when we just swam around all day long? Ugh, life is simply too fast paced now-a-days. For example, yesterday I had to drop my kids off at the pool, have lunch with a friend, pick up my dry cleaning & then rush over to the salon to get my nails painted before they closed. If this keeps up I am liable to have a heart attack before I turn 200! I'd give up this modern life if it weren't for Crystal Light & my DVR."
Thursday, July 7, 2011
"It just peeves me to no end. Simply put, GOOD & PLENTY licorice candies are neither good nor plentiful. It's one of the worst cases of false advertising I've ever seen. They should change their name to Don't-Eat-ems or Good-For-Nothin's or Not-Enough-Crap-That-U-Don't-Want-Anyway. I think that last one needs a little work, but you get the idea. The only people I know on this earth who like licorice are Dads. I chalk it up to the fact that most Fathers have bad taste. I mean, who else wears black socks with shorts? I rest my case."
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
"My therapist says I suffer from breed envy. I hate to agree with him, but seriously who wouldn't want to be a chiuaua? They have it all! I mean they get to be carried around in purses. They have those tiny waists & so they can fit into all of the cutest outfits. Most stores don't even carry my size. I have been cursed with being a Saint Bernard in this body conscious world we live in! I must have been a real bitch in my past life. Of course, I mean that figuratively."