Social~Lites

"OMG! I feel like such a pig!  I already had two grapes before I came and I just now scarfed down four saltines. Well, I guess it's back to the Slim-Fast, Fen-Phen, Dexatrim diet tomorrow.  

ARGH! Why do saltines have to taste so good?!"

Social~Lites

"This old thing? Actually, it's the Hope diamond.

I thought it looked a tad bit pretentious, so I tried to lighten it up by supergluing it to this candy necklace."

Social~Lites

"Trust me, this is the time to buy! With all the budget cuts, 
Government agencies are having some terrific sales. My husband and I just snatched up the International Space Station at NASA's big blowout sale. It came with a 2000 million mile powertrain warranty."

Social~Lites

"A newborn is such hard work! Our nanny earns every penny we pay her. 

Fortunately, I do mean pennies. If she wasn't an illegal there is no way we could afford her, the wet nurse and the two au pairs.  I don't know how the average American family affords baby staff."

Social~Lites

"Life is so unfair! You dedicate years to mutual goals, respect and 

communication to someone and then one day they up and leave you.  

Do you know how hard it is to find a good au pair in this city?  

 It's almost frustrating enough to make you want to raise your own children."

Social~Lites

"She actually snubbed me during the charity event last night. So, I threw my drink in her face, 

cursed her out and flipped a table over on her.  Some people have no manners!"

Social~Lites

"Now that I'm about to have a daughter I realize how important 

the Mother-Daughter bond is. I just hope that she can find it with at least one of her nannies."

Social~Lites

"I hate being ostentatious during this economic downturn. So, I've decided to go with 

uncut diamonds instead of the cut ones for the goodie bags at my daughter's third birthday party." 

Social~Lites

"Between you and me, I am not here to make friends.  I'm trying to build up some street cred with my fellow rich peeps in hopes that they will buy some of my ridiculously overpriced merch. I'm not sure what I just said but my gay hairdresser insists I have to do all of that before I can get on a BRAVO reality show."

Social~Lites

"I don't enjoy reading.  I prefer hobbies that either keep me thin or drunk."