Social~Lites
"Whoever said 'Less is more' obviously wasn't rich. I mean, I am extremely
wealthy & I can assure you my more is definitely more."
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Social~Lites
"Some friends I have! They complained throughout the entire movie about the price of the tickets and the popcorn. I mean, yes it is MY home theatre, but I have costs too. They are lucky my ushers are non-union & undocumented illegals, otherwise who knows what I would have to charge."
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Social~Lites
"I'm scared to death of getting old! That's why I'm going to be cryogenically frozen
before my 24th birthday. I'm so excited because they are going to freeze-dry my purses, shoes & all six of my chihuahuas. I'm guessing it's like a really big Zip-Lock bag."
before my 24th birthday. I'm so excited because they are going to freeze-dry my purses, shoes & all six of my chihuahuas. I'm guessing it's like a really big Zip-Lock bag."
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Social~Lites
"My goldfish recently had a terrible case of vertigo.
Luckily, my chihuahua's Acupuncturist recommended a wonderful
Aquatic Ear Nose & Throat specialist who cleared it right up!"
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Social~Lites
"My husband insists we take that gas guzzler everywhere we go.
We have so many more eco friendly vehicles, why must he always take the Learjet?
Personally, I believe we all have to do our part for the environment.
That's why I always have my driver use the stretch Hummer limo."
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Social~Lites
"To be honest, I only read The New Yorker for the cartoons.
I hate to admit it, but witty cats always crack me up."
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Social~Lites
"I just got back from the Kentucky Derby. Surprisingly, not only do the women wear shoes
there but some of their shoes were totally adorable. Apparently, someone named 'Pei Lezz' designs most of their shoes. I looked all over the net but he has absolutely no web presence. Do you suppose they even have the internet in the South?"
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Social~Lites
"Oh, and don't even get me started on Garfield! Anyone who revels in furthering negative stereotypes about his own people is nothing but a self-hater."
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Social~Lites
"So, it wasn't until one of my kids texted me 'Merry Xmas' that I realized I hadn't seen any of my kids in three months. My personal assistant had forgotten to pencil in family time. I hated to let her go because she was such a great assistant, but what kind of Mother would I be if I didn't fire her after that?"
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"This old thing? It's the Hope Diamond. I thought it looked a tad bit pretentious, so I tried to lighten it up by supergluing it to this candy necklace."
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Social~Lites
Government agencies are having some terrific sales. My husband & I just snatched up
the International Space Station at NASA's big blowout sale.It came with a 2000 million mile powertrain warranty."
the International Space Station at NASA's big blowout sale.It came with a 2000 million mile powertrain warranty."
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Social~Lites
We pay the nanny pennies on the dollar. Fortunately, I do mean pennies. If she wasn't an illegal there is no way we could afford her, the wet nurse and the two au pairs. I don't know how the average American family affords baby staff."
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"Life is so unfair! You dedicate years to mutual goals, respect and
Do you know how hard it is to find a good au pair in this city?
It's almost frustrating enough to make you want to raise your own children."
