Saturday, September 14, 2013

YES! Pluto is a planet...


           Look, it's like this: Pluto had been a planet since 1930. That means that in science-fairs around this "fair country of ours millions school children have been glueing, taping or somehow adhering spheroidal objects to poster board, strings (aka a mobile) or lazily just laying them out on a card table in a representation of our solar system, and since 1930 the last and most outer tiny styrofoam ball always represented our beloved planet Pluto.

           Pluto, the little planet that could and "did" for over 80 years has now been relegated to a "Dwarf Planet." Alright, stop the presses! I will not simply take this sitting down (although I am seated luxuriously in my very comfortable computer desk chair I got at Target. Who doesn't love Target? NOBODY that's who).  I will fight for my underdog planet!

            "Scientists" (aka THE MAN) apparently think: "Nature can giveth but Scientists can taketh away." Im sorry but I thought by definition a planet was a sphere that orbits a sun. When did that change? What possible vendetta could these scientists have against a planet named after a Disney character? (Just kidding- I know Walt Disney didn't create his Pluto until years later.  The planet was actually named after Popeyes's are nemesis Bluto but it was misspelled on the original astrological charts and the name just stuck. Did you know that Dionne Warwicks' Psychic Friends (who happened to work at the Psychic Friends Network) insisted on referring to Pluto by it's original name "Bluto"? That was before they had to flee the Country to escape all those trumped up charges. Sheesh, people can be so jealous of psychic abilities. I have lost so many friends that way.)

What possible reasons could exist for Scientists to go about and change what we know to be true?

  • Scientists are bored and they are going to start reclassify random things (e.g. Carl Linnaeus: Making Pineapple a NON-Citrus fruit. Shame on you Carl! Shame!!! I will forgive you, but will history? Will it?!)
  • Scientists are power hungry and want to change the course and scope of human knowledge.
  • It could be that they are just misguided souls doing their best to further science understanding but are simply wrong this time.  
Whichever one it is I can only beg the scientific community to reconsider it's exclusion of Pluto from its brethren/sisteren.

         The truth is: yesterday, today and tomorrow the littlest and most beloved planet is always right up there (I'm pointing to the sky right now-can you see it in your mind?) in the largest orbit (around the sun) of any of it's siblings.

          Imagine this, Nerdy Scientists (and I suspect you will like this scenario because it is very very nerdy. Please note that I fully recognize and embrace my own nerdiness so I am not "hating." Okay?)  When aliens invade our galaxy their first contact with our system will be the wee but mighty planet Pluto. Perhaps just perhaps as they shoot a laser beam towards the earth that littlest tinniest planet will have just enough density to deflect that laser beam and save our own planet. What would you say to Pluto then scientists? I dare say you would have to say the following: "Dear Pluto. We are sorry we doubted you. Without you we would never have made it through that alien invasion. You have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are most certainly a PLANET. That is before you were destroyed by a laser which makes us feel even worse for having doubted you all those years. We will now commemorate this giant mobile with Pluto as the largest of the planets representing the fact that it had the biggest heart of them all."  On that day scientist you will be feel bad- I mean really bad. But as a teardrop lands on my check I will smile remembering just how brave Pluto the PLANET was and you can't take that away from me.

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